


as long as there's a moon

by weresquad (taehob)



Series: MCU: Steve/Bucky [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, M/M, Post TWS, Slow memory gain, this is unbetad trash sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 18:59:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3499352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taehob/pseuds/weresquad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is the only thing that makes Bucky feel like his world isn't falling apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	as long as there's a moon

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  [x](http://lynne-win.tumblr.com/post/111470505434/)

The first time Steve finds Bucky in his room, he nearly has a heart attack. It's the end of December and Bucky is sitting in the corner, knees drawn up with his arms hanging over them. He looks like an indoor pet that had somehow got locked outside and something in Steve's chest aches at the sight.

"Bucky?"

His head darts up, eyes wide, and then he jerks it away to the side.

Steve starts to walk toward him, but thinks better of it and sits on the end of his bed. A chill is settling on his skin when he notices the state of his window, the shards of glass scattered on his floor. He can't bring himself to care at the moment, content to sit in silence and wait for his friend to talk.

It doesn't happen, and Bucky eventually climbs back outside and into the night, leaving behind nothing but a broken window and bone-deep cold.

\---

The second and third time he shows up play out roughly the same, minus the broken window (Steve leaves it unlocked now), but he finally speaks the fourth time.

"I know you," he says, staring down at his metal arm like it might hold the answers to all of his unasked questions.

Steve startles and then his lips twist and slant, like they aren't sure whether they want to smile or frown. "Yeah."

That's all that's said that night, but Steve counts it as a victory. It might take some time for Bucky to relearn himself, but Steve doesn't mind waiting. He'd wait lifetimes to get Bucky back again.

\---

Bucky starts to talk after that. It's not much, but sometimes he'll ask a question or relay a memory or ask a question  _about_ a memory. It reminds Steve of someone trying to remember a history lesson and that hurts, but it's better than the alternative. He'd rather have this Bucky than none at all.

\---

There's a chair set beside the window by the tenth time Bucky shows up, but he ignores it and sinks to the floor.

Steve rolls his eyes and heaves a long-suffering sigh. "Of course. What was I thinking, trying to make you more comfortable?"

Bucky gives something resembling a smile and says, "That's why I think for the both of us."

The words surprise them both into silence and Steve remembers the same conversation being had decades ago, after Bucky had pulled Steve into his bed. It was a tough winter and Steve wasn't fairing well in the cold. It took only a few minutes of his teeth-chattering before Bucky was walking over to him.

_"Come on, get up," he says, pulling Steve's blanket off and slinging it over his shoulder._

_Steve curls up tighter as the air hit him. "W-what are you doing?"_

_Bucky looks mildly apologetic, but doesn't answer. He grabs Steve's hand and tugs, leading the way to his side of the room. They stop at the edge of his bed and he throws the extra blanket over top of it. "Get in."_

_"This is r-really not--" Steve begins, but is cut off when Bucky pulls back the covers and pushes him onto the bed, climbing in after. "This is really not necessary," he says, frowning, even as the warmth stops his shivering._

_"Of course. What was I thinking, trying to make you more comfortable?" Bucky asks, breath hot against Steve's shoulder._

_Despite the protests, Steve feels like melting into the bed, into the heat, into Bucky. He smirks and stares up at the ceiling. "That's why I think for the both of us."_

_"If that's what helps you sleep at night."_

_Steve falls asleep to the sound of Bucky's breathing and wakes underneath his arm._

They had forwent the use of Steve's bed for the rest of that winter, and every winter after. He didn't think much of it at the time, but now he misses those days with a fervency. Things were so much simpler then, with Bucky warm and steady at his side. He feels so far away now, sitting against the wall instead of on the bed with Steve.

They don't say anything after that and when Bucky leaves, Steve slides down into his blankets and thinks about how large the bed is for a single person.

\---

Natasha stretches next to Steve as the credits roll on the movie they'd been watching. She leans over him for the remote and turns the TV off before getting up and heading to the kitchen. Steve waits, listening to her rummage through his cabinets, and she eventually returns with a bottle of wine and two glasses. She pours a drink for the both of them and holds his out until he takes it.

"Okay, go."

Steve just blinks. "What?"

"Tell me what's wrong," she says. She takes a sip of her wine and makes a face. "This is terrible, by the way."

Steve shrugs and takes a gulp. "Nothing's wrong."

"Are you forgetting that you can't lie to save your life?"

He looks down into his drink and swirls it around the glass. "It's just, Bucky's been gone for weeks."

Natasha nods in sympathy. "He's been gone for months."

Steve shakes his head. "No, he hasn't. He's been coming here every few days, or at least he was. I'm worried."

He looks over at her and takes in her surprised look, the wine glass halfway to her mouth, and remembers that nobody knows about his Bucky situation. "Sorry, I didn't tell you. I found him in my room a few month ago. I didn't want to tell anyone until there was a reason to."

"Like him getting back his memories," she says, putting a hand on his leg. "I'm sorry, not that that counts for much. I wish I could tell you he'll come back."

Steve pats her hand in thanks and wonders where Bucky is, what he's doing, if he's okay.

\---

Spring is just beginning when Bucky shows up again and Steve knows something's wrong as soon as he comes in. He's tense and standing in front of the open window, eyes wide with something like shock or fear or both. Steve knows that look. It's the same look he'd gotten right before he fell from the Helicarrier.

There's a cold wind coming in behind Bucky and he walks over slowly to shut the window. He's about to go sit on his bed when a yank on his sleeve stops him. He looks down at Bucky's hand, then his face. Hesitating for just a moment, he pulls Bucky into a hug, bracing himself for a negative reaction. It doesn't come and he tightens his hold.

When he steps back, he says, "You're freezing, Bucky. I'm gonna go turn up the heat." Only he can't, because Bucky's got hold of his arm again.  He tries to walk anyway and stumbles when Bucky doesn't move an inch. "Just to the bed, alright?" He doesn't get a response, but Bucky moves along with him the second time.

He pulls the covers down and motions for Bucky to get in. He thinks idly about how weird it is, watching his closest friend/The Winter Soldier kick off his shoes and slide under the covers. It's some weird, paradoxical situation that feels completely familiar and completely strange. When Bucky tugs his arm, he pushes the feeling aside and climbs into bed. If someone had told him before that he'd eventually be the one having to provide body heat for Bucky, he'd have laughed at them. Oh, how the tables turn.

After a few minutes, Bucky's arm wraps across his midsection and he smiles to himself. "Now isn't this more comfortable than freezing on the floor?"

Bucky leans his forehead against Steve's shoulder. "That's why you think for the both of us."

Steve closes his eyes as his smile widens. Maybe Bucky wasn't as far away as he once thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from [this](http://egracely.tumblr.com/post/96255457169/wonderfulsenses-everything-you-love-is-here).
> 
> [Send me your prompts.](http://bckybarnez.tumblr.com/ask)


End file.
